Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Tall Drink of Water


If I were a cartoon character, I'd be the Bumble from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Sadly, like this rather large dude, I don't enjoy shaving. My temper is like his in that I get all spit fiery and pissy kind of easily, even if I don't always show it. The good side of being a Bumble is that I'm not afraid of falling because I bounce right back. And I'm tall. Really tall. The person putting the star on the tree at your party? That would be me. I've also been known on occasion to scare small children and dogs.

Someone once called me a "Tall drink of water". I find it rather ironic, because while I am indeed lengthier than a cash register line at a Nordstroms Half Yearly Anniversary sale, I don't drink water. I do bad things very well, though despite constant protests of giving it up. Diet Coke and coffee? Oh yeah. Stained teeth and coffee breath. Goes nicely with the Bumble Hair I so hate to shave.

Lately, at night, I've added a new spin to my Diet Coke addiction. And it's none other than R-U-M.

I blame Blogher.

And my husband who, the other night, insisted I was wound tighter than Princess Leah's braided hair buns (God, weren't those so rad back in the 70's?) Why waste a half glass of bubbly when two would do the trick?

And there's the dilemna. See, despite being HUGE, I'm a teeny weeny alcohol light weight. Which means I'm supine on the couch 25% into my booze. Which means by 50% in I'm half naked and giggling. Which means 75% in I'm all the way naked. Which means 100% in Rex is... 100% in.

And while that's not bad (shut up, all 2 of you male readers) I worry... because that's what I do... I have anxiety attacks about everything... even having fun... is drinking every night - say even one glass - a bad habit? Do ya'll do it? Because I have to tell you - this laughing at dumb stuff and things you can't control? It doesn't suck.

* Photo of Stink and I on the last flight out of San Fran five years ago when the L.A. fires hit. I didn't know it then, but Pip was inside of me, planning her future shoe empire. Do you see how I can crash out even in planes with ginormous nine monthers on me? (Yes, he was only 9 months.) Do you see why I am such a sloppy drunk? Help! Do you drink nightly or not?

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17 comments:

JCK said...

I'm a firm believer in drinking. Hence...it's JackO'Clock! I say if you get giggly and naked and you're usually at home -it works. Especially good to be giggling WITH your man.

A tall drink of water is a sexy turn of phrase. Better than...tall drink of diet Coke or a tall drink of iced tea. The exception being a tall drink of whiskey...

Totally with you on the light weight issue. We're fun girls. Cheap fun girls.

OK, I'll go now.

kristen said...

yeah, rum is my friend since last weekend - every night. must. break. habit.

QT said...

Ummm - yes. That is, I do drink almost every day.

My doctor told me when I start making embarrassingly frequent trips to the liquor store or having black outs, then she will be concerned. But for now,s'okay.

Can you drink wine because "in theory" you ingest some antioxidants when you drink red wine. Maybe that will assuage your guilt. Might as well throw some chocolate in there for good measure, too....

Ramblin' Red said...

I don't drink nightly, namely because that gets expensive and it's not a great idea with antidepressants. That said, in moderation (i.e. 1 glass of wine, beer, A mixed drink) should be fine. I usually drink on the weekends, but have been cutting back lately. I also have a few more worries about drinking b/c addictions are rampant in my family tree.

Monnik said...

I don't drink nightly. In fact, I probably only drink about once a month. But... it's mostly because I'm trying to watch my weight, and after even 1/2 a glass of wine (or whatever) I throw all of my good sense away and eat whatever is in front of me.

I'm also a serious lightweight. it's embarrassing, really. On the nights that I do actually drink, I usually stop after two because, well, let's just say that nobody needs to see my 'more than two drinks' personality. Enough people saw that in college that I can't ever run for public office.

Jen said...

I love this post--I love that you said rad and ya'll and love love love that picture.

I can't drink, the breastfeeding thing. But I have had a beer or two while out with my girlfriends (that happens once every three months or so :( and woke up feeling like I had a twelve-pack.

*sigh*

momma's heart said...

I would say...try really hard not to. My mom began using it to relax, and it didn't work out so great for us kids, growing up. She is 66, and still drinks to relax, despite having a cancerous breast lump removed a few years ago. And smokes still, and doesn't exercise yet.

Can you find someone in the neighborhood to walk with in the evenings? I would try a lot of things before settling on this. Just my two cents - coming from an ex-kid. I hated it that my mom drank.

Love ya!

phd in yogurtry said...

Hi fellow Zoloft lover. JCK sent me.

I don't drink nightly, though I sure think about it. Mainly to cut down on calories. Although, upon close examination, the strategy has failed miserably (a bowl of cheese nips has MORE calories than my favorite Svedka and Soda). Hmmmm. Maybe I'll switch to the nightly nip and giggles. I'll get back to you on that.

Kristy said...

I'm an almost nightly drinker myself.A nice glass of red wine really finishes the day nicely!

His Girl said...

I'm sure this won't shock you, but I no longer drink alcoholic beverages at all. Do I judge YOU for having a drink at night? well- if I do that, I'd have to judge someone else who has coffee in the morning, and myself for begging for a diet coke every afternoon to pick me out of my slump. Can't even get started on throwing stones.

Why don't I drink? well, lots of reasons- family history, cost, example for kids, desire to please God, preference, control issues... my reasons are many- enough for me to choose not to touch the stuff.

I contemplated about weighing in on this topic- you know, since it might look like I feel 'holier than thou'- but hopefully, you know me well enough to know that's not who I am... just like I know you're the gal who likes all sides of an issue to be presented. So, here I am with my 2 cents.

Can't wait til monday :)

ShannanB aka Mommy Bits said...

I don't have a problem with a drink to end the day. I like you, though am a light weight and have to be really careful.

meno said...

Isn't that interesting?! Even though you and i are of a height, i too am an alcohol lightweight.

I don't drink everynight, just every afternoon. :)

Ok, kidding. Many nights, but not all. I wouldn't worry unless it's causing you problems. I drink less that i used to because it interferes with my sleep, and god knows i need my sleep.

Deb said...

Well, I'd love to say I don't drink every night, but, alas, I do. I don't get drunk, because, quite frankly, I'm not 21 anymore. I have to say though, that I look forward to having a drink while sitting with my husband and talking - about our day, our kids, our plans, our problems, and life in general. It's relaxing for me. And if I want to have a drink while I try to solve the problems of the world, then that's what I'll do.

My slippery slope begins when my husband starts refilling my drink.....because, much like you, clothes start flying after a drink or two and he KNOWS he's going to get lucky - very, very lucky =)

But, when the clerk at the liquor store smiles at you, greets you by name and says "Hi! How are the kids?" and seems to know more about your life than he or she should, then you know you spend way too much time in there and it's a problem.

You'll have to find a new liquor store.

Pam said...

I'm catching up again... about your drink at night, no worries!

As for the picture of you and your hot friends... you're pretty hot yourself, woman!

Happy birthday to Pip. Hmmmm... an Aqua Globe? I can dig it.

Terri said...

I have taken lately to pomegranet martinis in the evening. I feel very sophisticated (like I'm in a thin man movie!) with my little silver shaker....Can't have more then 2 though or I start pushing people into the pool! LOL

P.S. Did anything every come of that "rent your house to a movie studio" thing?

God's Guitar Girl said...

Here's my problem: I can't stay awake long enough to finish one drink a night after the kids go to bed, alcoholic or not. Beers are like Cokes to me since they're fizzy and I live on the face of the sun.

I would be worried if this was worse when I'm down, but when I'm really stressed out or upset about something, I pretty much don't have an appetite and live on Diet Coke. I don't even have the heart to drink. How pathetic is that?

Bottom line: you're good. When R. and I get together we definitely unwind w/ a drink every night. It's more fun to sip something when you've got companionship. And if it leads to some fun sex, is there any real harm being done? :)

ms chica said...

I drink wine nightly. I must. I live in the south and I despise iced sweet tea and cheap beer (expensive beer, however is up for negotiation).

I have been guilty of overindulging. Since hindsight is 20/20, I recognize that stress levels were very high then.