Monday, January 07, 2008

Sex Secrets from a Dirty Housekeeper

So guess what? Rex is out of town and I'm friggin' more tired than my pancreas trying to process the huge tub of pistachio green icecream working its way through my intestines. My insulin is screaming, "Damn, girl, we're tired. Have you heard of water and a few slices of cheese. WE HATE YOU."

The other news: I'm in Good Housekeeping! Yeah for me! My little mug will be in the February issue of the actual magazine with a short bio pointing me to the online site (which started today).

The good news for Rex: I'm making some real money for a change!

The bad news for Rex: I'm talking about our sex life.

Actually, it's about our lack of sex life. Newsflash: Married people sometimes don't have as much sex as single people. If they do, it's not as exciting.

And, not to alienate my good Christian women following (because those of you who know who you are have really helped me along my little journey of faith - big kisses to you) even if you didn't have sex until your wedding night - after your bedtime prayers - with a Bible next to your bed - word on the street is that even you aren't holy rolling around the sack as much as you might have when you first got married.

The column is about why sex takes a back seat to everything else in marriage. It will challenge our expectations as women, and hopefully bring to light some very real issues many of us are facing. There's a place to comment, so feel free (sign-up takes less than a minute.)
Even if you love me, but you think I'm off base in my column (ex: You're having more sex than ever!) then by all means, let me know how. (But I don't believe you. And Christian or not, lying is a big fat NO NO.)

Right now I have two posts up and one bio.

I also included 4 sites that I read a lot, and one of them is our very own Liv and Pam.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Thank you for letting me be me. I'm excited to have a few new gigs now, but Pass the Zoloft is always my home.

Now go avoid sex by reading my column instead!

More of my writing can be found on Babycenter.com & Good Housekeeping. I write under the name Andrea Frazer. And I ramble. Deal with it.

25 comments:

liv said...

WOO-HOO!!!! I am so proud of you girl. I think I'll post about it!

His Girl said...

I will get out and buy that magazine soon as I can! I'm so excited to be a groupie... I'll let you know if you're off base or not as one of your Christian fanbase ;)

by the way I answered your blasphemous question about Anne of G G back in the blog comments for the posts. honestly. who is gil??? *huff*

freefalling said...

"Noice" photo (ie: at GH bio).
You look like Joely Fisher.

Re sex: umm.... I dunno....emmm...yeah... I just dunno...

Pam said...

Congratulations on the Good Housekeeping gig, I looked, I read, I commented.

Excellent choice of subjects, one that should be addressed more often. Lots of gals in the same boat.

LOVED your photo in GH, wowie, girl!

Maggie said...

congratulations! I have a comment on this subject, I'm going to go put it up at the site...if not I'll come back here and drop it off.

Em said...

Well I was excited when your comment on my blog told me you needed me. LOL

I did enjoy your articles. And yes, I registered and left comments. And you are right, probably the only male to do so! LOL

Now, do I get an autographed copy from an honest-to-goodness writer?? :)

Meggie said...

Thanks for stopping by Meggies Stuff and your lovely comments. My outstanding skin comes by way of Effudex treatment for basal cell. I think that photo still shows some post treatment "glow." I don't think of myself as gorgeous but rather a woman who "cleans up well." I certainly wouldn't put an ugly pic on my blog! And rest assured, there are plenty! Love your blog. I will certainly be checking out the February Good Housekeeping.

ms chica said...

This is great news! Congratulations! Off to read...

Sandi McBride said...

I'm not quite sure how I got here...I clicked on a link to tell something called Stink (I was assuming it was a dog, but you know, babies often don't smell like roses) and found you instead. I think it was a conspiracy...and why aren't you on strike with all the rest of them? But I'm glad you're not, else I wouldn't have found you. And hey, since when was it a secret that married people didn't have that much sex? That's why I got married to start with...I needed the rest. Anyway, so glad to make your acquaitance, no matter how weird the introduction
Sandi
oh crap I see those damned funky letters I have to type in before my comments get accepted. Good thing you're worth it

Dapoppins said...

Why do you always make me laugh?
Okay, if your talking about sex, I want to hear more....so I will have to sign up and stuff I guess!

Rosemary said...

Hi,
Nice to meet you. Congrats to you on your magazine article. Can't wait to read it.
You are very funny, I like your blog.
Have you been out on the picket lines?
Anyway just wanted to stop by and say hello.
You live in LA, I live in Thousand Oaks.
Rosemary

hamiam said...

As a Christian and a red-head, can I just confess that erm...my redheaded nature won the premarital sex battle...So not perfect and pure ;)

I likes me some sex. I likes me some writing by Mama P - so what's not to like about this new column?

BTW - thanks for your concern about the "elephants" I just e-mailed your yahoo account. It might take a week to read.

Susie Q said...

Oh wow. I am SO excited for you!!!
I am SO happy for you!! Okay, envious yes but in a GOOD way!!!
I feel like a proud mama bird but then, I am not your mama and I ain't no bird. So I will just say, I feel like a proud *insert your own analogy here*!!!

You know I will be buying Good Housekeeping and reading and sending fan letters. : )

Oh, and about this sex thing...what IS it? I vaguely remember something called s.e.x but that was before Daniel...wait. There was something like that after he was a teenager bu then it vanished with Grace's arrival. Privacy? What is THAT???
My bed does, however, see plenty of action. A dog and two cats were wrestling in it last night...wrestling with the girl child and raising all sorts of Hell.
Oh well, I do hear that seniors are still having lots of sex so there is hope for me. Grace might be outta the house by the time we are
in our 60s...*smile*

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Love and hugs,
Sue

Susie Q said...

OMGod!!! I LOVED it. You made me laugh waaay out loud, scare the cats and traumatize the dog. I absolutely loved it.
Now, whatever Good Housekeeping is paying you...it is NOT enough.

Huggles,
Sue

meno said...

Just wait until the kids get out of the house. :D

Congratulations! I am proud to say "i knew you when."

JaniceNW said...

Some of us had so much sex in December we could not count that high! And we've been married 21 years. So :P~~~~~~~~~~. Not to be TMI but it's hotter now than it ever was 10 years ago!!!

Congrats on the article!!!!

Dawn Bibbs said...

Hello, I came across your blog via Susie Q. However, as I look at your photo and read a bit, I think I've been here before. It's called Deja Vu, I think...lol

Regardless of how I got here, I am SO laughing at your post. Not the GH part...BIG CONGRATS on that. But the sex part. I must be one of the lucky ones. Being a Christian woman, as most of your readers appear to be, I'll just say I'm doing God's work! LOL I understand that he, uh, rejoices when married couples "share" their love with eachother. Well, I can tell you one thing, He's probably not rejoicing as much as I am...LOL. I even got myself an IUD for Christmas.

Ok, ok, I know....TMI. Sorry. But I love your post and just wanted to tell you that there IS hope. If you WANT things to change and/or improve in the area of sex, they will. Trust me.

Take care and I'll have to look in on you again soon.

Liza's Eyeview said...

Oh this is greeeeaaT!

Congratulations!

I'm a little bit stressed right night (my mom's situation, etc.) so this comment will be short. But I'd come for some more "juicy" comments.

I'll also make sure I leave a comment there.

Yes, I am one of those "virgin when I got married" but that does not mean I'm not "wild in bed" after the wedding ;)

After kids? well, now it's "no massage, no lovie". Massage is the key for me :)

Good luck my dear - I am very excited and happy for you.

Steph said...

I thought I commented...did I not comment? (Senility.) Anyway, congrats on the great columns at GH! As soon as I figure out what you're talking about (sex?) I'm sure I'll remember something I've forgotten.

Rosemary said...

Hi again,
Sure it would be fine if your craft girl was interested. Just let me know.
Thanks,
Rosemary

Tammy said...

Congrats on your piece, I can relate. lol

My ALS changed my life in the best of ways and I would not change my journey, except to add a cure.

Thanks for stopping by. :)

Steph said...

Okay. I swear I have tried to comment twice before and either I am mucking it up or you're mad at me and don't want to publish my comments. Just in case it's the former, I wanted to say congrats on the GH gig! Great stuff! In my other comments I also mentioned I don't know what the heck you're talking about (sex?). :)

Valerie said...

married people have sex? why was i not informed???

i gotta get me a GH mag...will you autograph it for me?

Single Mom Seeking said...

You go girl! Proud over here, too. Just read the we're-having-sex, period column. Great. Bold. Okay, back to more sex and the single mom...

Jenster said...

Yippy!! Can't wait to get the mag.

Um, as I think you already know, I had great sex - with my husband (just so there's no misunderstanding here) - and lot's of it until I was diagnosed at 39. For whatever it's worth. :O)