Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I keep hearing about these internet giveaways. Well, do I have a surprise for you. It's none other than the $12.00 snowcone cup from the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus Consumerism Under a Tent Fiasco! It has a lid that opens up and down, measures almost one foot tall, but sadly, unlike Mama P at a thrift store where she scores ten "I love You But Jesus Thinks You're An Asshxxx" bumper stickers for a quarter, this baby does not roar.
However, unlike Winona Ryder on a bad hair day shoplifting from a dime store and having a mug shot rivaling her role as pasty girl in Beetle Juice, you can get this overpriced merchandise for FREE.
Whoever has the best use for this growly, thorn-in-my-side-should-have-beaten-the-clown-over-the-head-with-this-Americana-atrocity wins.
I'll even pay for shipping. (But I'm cheap. So expect parcel post. Or pidgeon carrier. If the bird can crap on the vendors that sold me this junk, so much the better. If the bird happens to be a tap dancing fowl who lands the opening act and gets a book deal before I do, it will be served for Taco Tuesday. Animal rights picketers, you have been warned.)
Now go! What would this contain in your home? Condoms? Coffee? Yarn for a pair of snuggly wuggly slippers that you'll crochet for me in ever lasting thanks? I can't wait to hear....