For those of you familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine, you will understand that all of us are different characters, depending on our day. Sometimes I'm Thomas: cheeky, spirited, full of optimism and damn that crack in the track, I'm going to chug chug chug my way through rain, sleet and kids pissing on my geraniums.
Some days I'm the Troublesome Trucks: A Puck-like demon ready to trip you for a laugh. Hey, Rex, you wanted Crest Regular and I bought you Aquafresh Mint to save 3cents! Ha! That's what we Troublesome Trucks do!
Some days I'm Percy: Strong, proud and fast. You need to drop your kids off despite two of them having pink eye, one having the personality of an Ashley twin and one with the look of a possessed possum on crack? I can handle it. Why? Because I'm Percy. That's why.
Some days I'm Claribel: Graceful, sheerful, and totally content in my woman's work. You need a nice ride around Ventura Blvd.? A fresh pie? Perhaps some soothing music in Mama P's SUV freight car while I point out the scenery along our San Fernando Valley Drive? "That's the McDonalds where the kids spent a half hour playing with the air dryer. How's that for a stimulation toy, and it's free!" ... "Oh, that's the number one strip joint in town. Stink still thinks it's name, 'The Wet Spot' is home to a GINORMOUS SLIP N' SLIDE!"
Today, I'm Cranky: Neither train nor truck, I'm simply one tall, mean crane. I've got a growl and nasty hook in me, so don't look at me wrong cuz I'll pick you up and do the meanest thing a Mama P Crank can think of: Drop you off at the nearest strip mall during this 101 degree heat wave and take off, leaving you alone with over sized sunglass waifs and teenage boys with plumber crack deeper than Nicole Richie's frown lines. Don't put it past me.
Man I'm cranky.