Monday, October 16, 2006

A Fine Line

There's a fine line between being an active person and balancing work with motherhood, Ebay biz with doctor's appointments, friends and family with playdates. Some people do it well. Being the "yes" person that I am (and too social for my own good) I air on the unbalanced side of the line.

My husband is no better. He's one of those that gets cell calls at 2AM. And even worse - he answers them. He does office work from home on Saturdays. We frequently talk about vacation plans (which always get broken) while I'm typing on the computer and he's punching his wireless Blackberry. We communicate across the country when he's going to bed at 10:30pm and I'm knee deep in bubble bath and oven timers ringing. While I relish my independence, and I am supportive of what Rex needs to do to provide me with this wonderful life, sometimes there's a void in the house when he's gone that, for all my bravado, leaves me a little blue.

And lately, when he is here, there's an emptyness because we're not being present with each other.

On Saturday, for the first time in a while, we spent quality time together just laughing over dumb stuff (including me standing by the car door, waiting impatiently for him to open it while he revved the engine and left me giving him the finger.)

One beer in, and far too many chips, we decided to dedicate Sundays to the family . We're going to try and unplug, hang out, hit some yard sales and just lounge around. I'm going to try not to do housecleaning. He's going to try not to do yardwork. The kids are young once. And us, too. We're not going to spend our lives on this rat race wheel where we end up with a stainless steel cage on the right side of the tracks but we're too exhausted to enjoy it. It's time to forgo the fancy cheese, buy some take-out, and kick back in the sawdust.

On a side note, I'm thrilled to announce that my biz is starting to sell! For those of you that expressed interest, thanks! Just bid or buy what you want and I'll give you a big discount on the shipping and the wholesale price on the clothes. You just need to remind me when you're invoiced that you know me through this blog and it's yours. (No pressure either... just following up). Link in previous post some place. Or just ask.

I'm off to make dinner and call Rex. Thanks for checking in peeps.

6 comments:

Mandy Klevenski said...

You are an inspiration Mama P! That sooo makes me want to somehow convince my husband to dedicate Sundays to just church and family time. I don't mind doing without material things or fancy extras. I do mind lack of quality family time and I do see my kids growing up at an alarmingly fast rate. Thanks for motivating me to try to do more!

Mama P said...

It's funny I inspire you, but lest you think my husband is on board completely on his own, this has sprouted out of months of him being attached to the computer. I of course know work is important, but at the end of the day, the family gets the short end of the stick. From me, too... I'm so busy with all my projects and then he comes home and I'm like "bllllaaaaaa!" So instead of having him watch the kids on Sundays, I will trade or hire someone with my Ebay earnings during the week (so I get more alone time) and then Sundays he can rest while we do our church deal and then he's motivated to hang with us. I'll keep you posted. No one has it easy, but love is a conscious decision, no? I'm glad I know you.

meno said...

The family can come in second for only so long, and then it becomes neglect. What a great idea!

Erin said...

A great idea, to reserve one day a week for family stuff. I tried introducing a board game night last year, but the kids were still too young I think. It ended up being more frustrating than fun. But, like you, between work and child rearing and zooming from one activity to the next, and keeping the house together, I never see my husband either. We probably need to have a similar epiphay and reconnect.

Princess in Galoshes said...

Me too, thanks for the reminder to step back and enjoy life! :-)

I don't even have kids yet, I can't even imagine trying to factor that into the equation.....

Teri M. said...

An excellent idea - to purposely make time. We'll need to do that more around here, especially with The Spouse being out of town a lot more and a soon to be teenager. ::sigh::