Monday, May 01, 2006

Tube Ties


Top 10 Tubal issues I've dealt with since having kids:

1. The toothpaste tube... or shall I say.. the sticky goo all over the counter (and sometimes the bed).

2. The tube shaped slides at the park (Stink seen above - he couldn't be more elated if he fell into a vat of Scooby Snacks)

3. The vaginal tube (yes, that's right, I just used the word vaginal). I don't know about you moms, but for my kids, they had no issues with fetal claustrophobia. They were like "oooh.. it's tight, cramped, I can't breathe and I might just poop on myself... Coooooool.. I'll just chill right here, because some lady out there doesn't sound so happy"

4. One word: macaroni

5. Tires, wheels... anything round that can be pumped with air - my kids love it.

6. Can we say, "Vasectomy for 500?"

7. More Mac lipsticks have been destroyed thanks to Stink than animals have been tested on (Yes, I know Mac doesn't test on animals... just go with the literary simile, even if it's a bad one)

8. America's famous babysitter: the boob tube

9. Toilet paper rolls - lots of 'em - often times stuck on toothpaste which was just released from the tube all over my counter (refer to example 1)

10. McDonald hamster trails - plastic tunnels, spit, vomit and greasy hands. Code name for kids: Paradise

Reading over my blogs, I either have a good sense of humor when it comes to letting kids be kids, or I'm just a delinquent watcher.

Is it just me, or does it seem like no matter how much you pay attention, they will just do what they want to do? Like the day Stink was at my mom's and walked into her room with a net and some flipping goldfish from her tank, exclaiming "Grandma, I go fishing!"

Humorous stories welcome - Preferably related to tubes to keep the theme - but I'll stop being a control freak in the hopes for a good laugh.

1 comment:

bridethatwas said...

Reference to #3:

Is that why Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes had a silent birth????