Monday, January 16, 2006

Macaroni Thrills/Scene 3

Rex and I went for our weekly date to the Macaroni Grill, which we've renamed Macaroni Thrills because A) We haven't laughed that hard in a while, B) We didn't have to make any of those curly noodles with orange powder C) The place looks like a theme park with the food the size of a Dora the Explorer's head and D) For a heavy fine, you, too, can leave without any dishes to do!

We met a few friends that Rex knew from his In & Out Burger Days and just hung out. We covered everything from mutual friends, to mutual funds, to house payments, to kids, to work, and to why women can site from memory their husband's exact food order at any major drive thru chain, but men can't figure out to bring home flowers once in a while (Yes, K, life isn't an episode of Friends, but Casa Di Mama P would feel a little less like Married With Children if we had a few suprise buds around here. And no, not those kind of buds, though that might solve the problem, too).

My point: We had so much fun that it was determined that a Vegas trip, though a huge daydream, is in order.

When was the last time any of you took a vacation? (Other than Cecelia, who just came back from Austraila. And Herb, who is still in New Zealand. And Texas Lizzy, who just went to Vegas and California. And Sister R, who spent Thanksgiving in Arizona. And Ali, who went to Sacramento for Xmas. And Mrs. V, who went to Portland a few months back, and Mama P Light, who spent some time with her mom holiday shopping in Vegas and... maybe it's just me who never travels?)

Here's the 4th Scene. Since I have heard no comments for about 2 weeks, but my hit meter (located at the bottom of the page) keeps getting steadily higher, I can only assume people are reading but hate it so much, they're scared to note it. Or there's nothing to say because it's just that brilliant. I am not hanging my hat on either and am going to just keep plugging along. So there.

SCENE C
INT. LIVING ROOM - AN HOUR LATER (JIMMY, HILLARY)

JIMMY ENTERS THE HOUSE AND HE'S SHOCKED TO SEE SOMETHING HE HASN'T SEEN IN MONTHS.

JIMMY
Is it my imagination, or do I not see rugrats?

HILLARY
Cloe has them. Instead of working I decided to sleep. And drink.

JIMMY
You should be ashamed of yourself. Drinking and sleeping in the afternoon... without me.

HILLARY
You've got a job, babe. Last time I checked, hanky panky didn't put a roof over our heads. In fact, it put two new heads under our roof.

JIMMY
Who are not here right now.

HILLARY
Which is why you need to stay sober and make a placement. It will make everything better.

JIMMY
No. Sex will make everything better.

HILLARY
So we can live in a tent?

JIMMY
If we're having sex in the tent, is that so bad?

HILLARY LAUGHS.

HILLARY
Oh, honey, you know I adore you. But I've had two kids poking and prodding me all day. I don't need to be poked and prodded by you, too.

JIMMY
I'd be insulted if I didn't want to poke and prod you so badly. (THEN) You know, Frankie and George do it three times a week.

HILLARY TURNS AROUND QUICKLY.

HILLARY
You've been talking to Frankie about our sex life?!

JIMMY WISHES HE COULD TAKE THAT LAST COMMENT BACK.

JIMMY
Technically, I talked about our non sex life.

SHE'S NOT AMUSED.

JIMMY
And it's not just about sex. I miss spending time with you. It seems every time we have one quiet moment you use it to sell on E-Buy.

HILLARY
It's important to me. It's my outlet.

JIMMY
I know. I just wish your outlet could make some money.

Whoops. He did it again.

HILLARY
Great. Now Frankie thinks I'm a lazy and sex less.

JIMMY
And soon to add "drunk".

HILLARY
And you wonder why I don't want to have sex with you.

JIMMY
I was kidding! (LOOKING IN HER EYES) Hellooooo... Hiiiilary!

HILLARY
What are you doing?

JIMMY
I'm looking for that sexy lady I married. You might remember her? Long flowing hair who did that wacky seventies move every time she'd bowl a strike. (HE DOES A FUNKY MOVE) The football freak who was so excited to get married she proposed to me during the Super Bowl. The one who was so thrilled to have a baby she threw herself a shower at six weeks?

HILLARY
(FEIGNING SHOCK) You didn't hear? Dumb broad got broadsided by a killer mortgage and no time to herself.

JIMMY
I know you need a break. I do, too.

HILLARY
You get that break. Every day. From 9 - 6.

JIMMY
It's called work. It's not a vacation. You think I don't want to stay at home, drink a beer and sleep?

HILLARY
Is that what you think I do all day?

JIMMY
No. You also find time to complain about not having time and then use the time you do have to pick a fight with your husband.

HILLARY
You forgot, "And to tell him to leave."

JIMMY
Fine, but not without one thing.

Hillary makes a lame attempt to purse her lips for a kiss.

Sidestepping her kiss, Jimmy grabs two beers and exits.

CUT TO:

2 comments:

K said...

ok. this time I re-read it and focussed. I like it. I think you will have a huuuuuuge identifying audience. is there a silver lining to come? I think the people that truly scream out, "That's me!" need to connect to the characters with...ok, my life can be really day to day but it sooooo great too" I'm thinking that part is coming. am I off base? more please....

Mama P said...

Yes, yes... lots of ABC TV Full House meets Everyone Loves Raymond meets Dysfunction Junction Silver Linings.

God bless you for reading.