Friday, November 04, 2005

All I Want For Xmas is a Maid

I know it's only November 2, but with all the holiday hype going on, I thought I'd put my two cents in now. Listen up: People, friends, family, neighbors... bums on the corners with two teeth that use their pan handling money for Starbucks and Kinkos internet access to check into this whiny blog... I don't want gift certificates for bookstores, coffee or Macy's. I don't want fancy Bed Bath and Beyond gift packages, because how can I relax in a tub covered in rings, plastic boats, and those bad curly hairs. James, I don't want any more ass warmers for my car, stereo speakers, or anything that needs a wire, plug or batteries.

I need help.

In the form of someone to clean my house so I can take a breather and do what I want to do: be it Ebay, play with the kids, or drink a cup of coffee and soak up my beautiful stained linoleum... I mean, nice house.

As a mom, time is more needed than any gadget. Personal sanity takes presidence over lip liner and gift baskets. I love you all, but if someone gives me one more sweater for my already too small midget closets, it's going back on Ebay.

It's probably tacky to tell the world what you want for Xmas, but I'm having a desperate day. And I'm sending out an S.O.S... as in my house has Sxxx on Sxxx... and I need a maid to clean it up.

Now that I've complained for the day, I'm off to do what women for centuries have been doing and not had the luxury of complaining about: clean my kitchen. Then, I will put at least 10 more things up for Ebay. And write tonite (almost done with Act 1... thank you very much, Susan!)

And on a good note, I know how lucky I am. I have the best friends and family in the world. I don't need presents from you this holiday season - just your presence is enough. But if you came over and cleaned my house for me, I'd love you even more.

1 comment:

War Bride said...

Wait, I feel like I need a maid and I don't even have kids yet!

I guess if my husband helped a little, it wouldn't be so bad...

Good luck! I hope someone gets you one.